Honolulu, Hawaii. I should have booked this trip before Paris because it honestly was underwhelming, not in beauty just in adventure. I don’t know why I had this idea that Hawaii would be this tropical place where I could get lost in a jungle. I should have done more research. My Lyft driver gave me the scoop on which island to try for more of a safari experience. Either way, I have to figure out a way to battle the sun. Five days of heat has me back in Seattle temperatures looking like a damn reptile. I’m shedding skin physically and metaphorically.
The travel there was easy. My seat was upgraded for free because someone wanted my basic ass seat that I didn’t care about. Fine by me.
You can feel the easy-going aura the second you land and walk into the terminal. I nodded and smiled and started looking for trees, which I found. There was a whole ass garden in the middle of the airport. I was like okay, okay. I can do this.
My Uber driver Janae was amazing. She told me some places to go and we even traded names for the rest of the trip. She’s going to resume my identity in Seattle since she likes it here so much. I won’t be residing in Hawaii, but Seattle is about to be long behind me. I’ve found my place in the world.
Now the horror. The hotel was awful. NEVER EVER STAY AT THE AMBASSADOR. Both the name and the photos online are a LIE. I made sure I only went to my room to sleep because, no just no. It smelled like old paint and vinegar. I instantly recognized the scent because my Mom cleans with vinegar and I HATE it. The elevators were slow as molasses and the cleaning crew used them just as much as the guest. Get a fucking service elevator. I opened the sliding door and felt relief because the view was amazing. The view and the gym is the only thing that saved front desk from being dragged to hell. There was a kitchen, but I wasn’t cooking shit. Oh, the location was unmatched, so I guess.
I read reviews. I didn’t this time. My bad.
Anyways, I walked the river most days. It rained the day I was supposed to do my bike ride, so I just sat on the phone with my girlfriend for hours (highlight). I didn’t make it on time for fireworks on the beach. There weren’t many locals. No luaus. Jet skiing and sails were cancelled because the winds were too high. I was too far for hikes and I didnt pack for that. So, my time was spent with my friend and her friends, eating mediocre food, walking their strip, taking photos, texting my fucking amazing future wife, the beach, and a pool.
STOP THE PRESS. I almost forgot about the most epic moment on the trip. White people were trying to white people, per usual. We get to the beach and find a good space with a decent view. A guy was kind enough to let us know that he was in the same spot and the tide washed him and all of his things away. With that information we moved back. We get comfortable and fall asleep only to wake up to a group you know whos blocking our view. They ALL decided to take a walk and asked us to watch their things. Sure *evil grin*. In a matter of moments the tide came and boooy was it a big one. It washed their things away and there was nothing more satisfying than the look on their faces. Lesson: don't be fucking rude. We obviously left an open space for a reason.
For kicks: A six-way crosswalk. Chaos?
I will say that the beach is lit. All two of the ones that I visited. The sand at Waimea bay is hot as fuck. People wake up early to get a good view and just lounge. I fell asleep without even realizing it, but while awake, the silence made a lot of shit make sense.
I did also spend time in a cool ass studio bearing witness to greatness in the making. I’m always in awe of art being made in real time. May have been the highlight of the whole trip.
I dozed off in a nightclub sipping on water on the rocks. The DJ sucked.
Sipped on a Mai Tai for an hour because well, I don’t drink for real anymore and my tolerance has gone way down.
Found a mall with a 3-story Forever 21 bought as much as I could overstuff in my carry-on.
I learned about putting flowers in your hair. On the right side, you’re single. On the left, you’re taken.
Oh, there was a dope ass street fair the last day. That was cool.
Time in Hawaii just does not move. I recommend three days for like a honeymoon or stress relief. I was over it after two days. Had my girlfriend been with me then I may have felt differently because well, she’s lit and adult life could have been happening in real time. I’m trying to keep this PG, like kissing on the back of a sailboat. I could be the solo-tripper girl, but I’d rather not be and don’t have to be, because she’ll come anywhere in the world with me. Finally, someone who wants ALL of what I want.
It was kind of a shit trip. I would have much rather been at work or home dealing with my ever-changing life. I did learn some shit about my skin. So to my babies with eczema, the sun is not our friend. Suntan lotion, Aloe straight from the plant or the gel as my girlfriend argued, and Mama Mia’s eczema soap (best money I’ve ever spent).