You know, I have to have a million thoughts about why folks need to leave studs alone. Studs are women, mainly Black women, just trying to be accepted and loved and I want to protect them like I want to protect all Black women. Because let’s be real, the world hates Black women. They’ve been objectified and commodified forever, so naturally, a masculine Black woman needs to be protected at all costs for so many reasons.
However, studs be TRIPPIN' trippin'. Somebody needs to have a conversation with them about their collective boisterous misogyny. You know how folks say Black men are the white people of Black people? Well if that’s true, studs are the white queers of black queers. I hate this identity politics shit, I really do. It’s the reason I can’t formulate decent professional relationships with people. But if you’re gonna draw the identity card then at least have the decency to understand the complex nature of identity and performance.
I’ve given studs more than enough chances at love with me in the past, but I’m on some never again type shit at the moment. Simply because a lot about their identity makes me feel like if I wanted to date someone with masculine energy that openly and actively hated me, I would date a cishet white man. I’m good love, enjoy. Sure we should transcend our experiences and not let them become us. And I’ll do that when studs stop trying to be my dad--most of them all my day, to be unpacked on another day.
We (queer folk) have done this really fucked up thing in the LGBTQIA+ community where we somehow re-stacked patriarchal order but with queer identities (which is another reason to do away with identity politics). Almost, like, we can’t exist without somehow oppressing someone who has less social agency than us or something. But can someone kindly explain to studs that just because they perform a masculine identity that does not inherently mean they need to exude toxic masculine energy? Some examples I’ve witnessed in life that makes my ass itch:
These things are really not even half of my issues with studs. I could go on and on about how studs also share this fuckery onto other queer groups like gay men and trans people. LORD do not get me started on the transphobia of studs. I will just say that studs have a lot of guts going in on trans men when they have parallel experiences when it comes to being clocked about their gender. Knock it off and understand we are in this together. You may have become fluid in the language of the oppressor but your gay ass still ain’t no citizen. Remember that the next time a man catcalls you and says “I know what you’re hiding under them baggy clothes”. Remember that you are still a Black woman. Remember that.