If you don’t know by now, I love, LOVE the zodiac. My mom gave me a book about astrology when I was about six or seven so I could read about Taurus--my sign--and I’ve been obsessed since. I’ve evolved way past just knowing about my sun sign since then, but that’s just something you’ll have to learn for yourself.
In being obsessed with the zodiac, i’m also obsessed with compatibility, so this is my silly little blog about me and my experience dating across the stars. How shall we do this? In order from January to December or elements? I say, elements.
My first girlfriend was a Libra. We lived in the same state, but two different cities. She was smart and well-balanced, but boring. I can’t remember having a real thrill with her. I did however pick up the bad habit of smoking cigarettes. I was only eighteen. She liked to get out of bed in the middle of the night to stand on the balcony and have a smoke, so I took it upon myself to join her. I’m sure I broke up with her through a text message. She didn’t deserve it, but I didn’t know any other way at that time. I love Libras as people, but dating one wasn’t for me.
It’s crazy how this is going in order by accident, because right after my Libra was an Aquarius. She was far from boring, but way more irresponsible than I could stand. She loved to travel and would drive me anywhere in the world whether I asked or not. My job was to get in the car and go. I was her rider. Literally. I think we could have lasted long, but I got tired of her fickle mind and also being called her friend. The closet life was not for me, no matter how good the sex was, I mean, amazing. I moved on.
Gemini, oh Gemini. I have to sit with this one for a second. Everyone seems to hate Geminis. I don’t. My favorite aunt is a Gemini and some of thee most amazing women that I know are Gemini’s. THEY ARE INTENSE. I came across my very first Gemini at 18 going on 19. She was ten years my senior, which means she’d lived a lot more life than me. I was instantly attracted to her. She was a contractor for the military, owned her own house and car in Texas, and she loved to talk. I love to talk, too. We’d met on myspace and exchanged so many long messages that it would have been insane for us not to meet. She was living in Kuwait at the time. Let me tell you something about Gemini’s, when they want something, the my will get it by any means necessary. This woman flew straight from Kuwait to New Orleans, where I resides at the time, she booked this nice ass hotel room and kidnapped me from work for the weekend. We only spent one night in New Orleans. We danced and got drunk as fuck, made out a little and went to bed. The next morning, we drove ten hours to Killeen, Texas to her home. We got there and operation change my life commenced. I’d been with one woman at this point in my life and didn’t know shit. This beautiful black and German beast took my bags, ran my bath water, then fucked me into oblivion. The final morning, she made me a breakfast Buffet. My Taurus has never been more satisfied. Fed and fucked. She had it all, but I just wasn’t ready. The mention of marriage and kids sent me into a panic and I disappeared on her faster than one could say boo. I could probably take her on now but there is still that fickle Gemini thing to worry about and I don’t know if I have time for it.
Update: I have to eat my words on that last line as I am currently dating a Gemini and she has been so consistent that it’s unreal. Some fairytale shit is happening in my love life right now and all I can do is enjoy the feeling of finally.
I dated one Leo. Pass. What I don’t have time to do is constantly validate someone who needs to figure out what self-love is. They talk shit, start shit, then play victim. Nope. I was only with mine for a few months and it ended with her in my front yard on the ground bleeding from the nose because I had to punch her in it. I’m less inclined to solve problems with my fist at this age. She literally came to my house to fight me. She also was sleeping with men on the low and calling herself a gang member. Stupid. No Leo moons either please. The ego just doesn’t do it for me.
Aries are so interesting. I’ve never met any two Aries that are the same. I was with one for five years. Almost married her, too. Somewhere in one of these blogs I told y’all about her and how we lived together. I’d do Aries again if I were single. I fucks with y’all.
Sagittarius. Throw the whole sign away. Dealt with one for five months. That was all I needed. They always plan ahead. They love to make cheating a justifiable things and the jealousy is real. I don’t meant jealous of someone wanting you. Jealous of you, so don’t dare try to elevate beyond them in life.
Cancer. Moody. Moody. Moody. Moody. Gave one 11 months of my life and in that time she ghosted me constantly, kept cheating with her ex, cried as often as possible about her life, and did I mention the lies and cheating. She just recently slid in my DMs saying we were meant to be. Girl.
If I have a favorite water sign, it’s Pisces. My deepest connection and biggest heartbreak was a Pisces, but I still can’t speak ill of them. They are so nurturing. If you can get them to live in reality more than dreaming you have a love for life in my opinion. They also have to be emotionally mature, well, that’s for anyone you deal with. This sign will never give up. They feed the hopeless romantic in my thoroughly. A Pisces taught me true love. This sign is the reason I don’t settle for less.
I want the world to understand this. I WILL NEVER DATE ANOTHER SCORPIO AS LONG AS I SHALL LIVE. This is my sister sign and I just recently made the mistake of dealing with two consecutively. Both intense. Both insecure. Both secretive. One, a liar. Both had boundary issues. Both had temper problems. They’d be great friends. Both jealous. Both pretty good in bed. One better than the other. Fuck Scorpios. Literally, just smash and move on. Date them ONLY if they are mature and secure. I pass either way. Maybe if I need a rebound I’ll find one. Sounds cruel, but that’s where I am with this sign in life. These nignogs will tell the new girl all the trifling shit they did to the old one when the old one was the one that wanted the truth. My first love was a Scorpio, but now I’m realizing I had a skewed view because I was green. This sign for Taurus is only necessary when I need a friend or life lesson. I do learn from them and I can’t take that away.
I’ve never dated a Capricorn. Never met one I found attractive on any level. I do have two Capricorn friends and they have been so dedicated to me. That’s all I really have. I hear they are crazy. I’ll believe that.
No Virgos. None. Not a one. Dated one and she was a complete nutcase. Until this day whenever I make a new social media page, I find her and block her. If I’m ever murdered. She did it. Also, my Mom is a Virgo. Blog for another day.
Looks like I’m not really fucking with Earth. So here we are at my final destination. The bull. Me. I married my own sign. Some narcissistic shit, huh? I’m working on myself. First order of business is no more studs. Anyways, yes, I’m going to dog my own sign. Call me disloyal, I don’t care. We trash. Big hearts for sure but that comes with some unstable ass emotions when we aren’t healed. Me included. You will be put through hell and only the strong will survive. I did not survive my Taurus. All jokes aside I have PTSD. Don’t flirt with me and say you’re a Taurus. I might blackout and stab you. I don’t know. Back up if my eye starts to twitch. Anything you can think of that you don’t want done to you in a relationship, she did it. Abuse, lies, cheating, all of it. Proceed with extreme caution.